Dee was “boasting” to a group of friends about how, in the past year, she had only forgotten to pick up one of her children from school one time–a nearly perfect record! Her peers laughed nervously and shook their heads in understanding. Dee is the mother of 4 young kids (who attend 3 different schools, by the way) as well as a full-time realtor. Like the women she was talking to, Dee has opted to be her own boss in order to be available to take her children to school, pick them up, attend their ballet recitals and soccer games, supervise playdates, etc.
Being self-employed promises flexibility–and it delivers. The only catch is that, for so many women like Dee–particularly mothers–the flexibility exists not within the traditional eight-hour workday, but rather a 24-hour workday within a seven-day work week. Dee calls it the slice and carve lifestyle. Each day is a patchwork of tasks related to the care and feeding of children, work and home. Drop the kids at school, show four homes to a potential buyer, make sales calls, go to a fabric store to buy material for the 3rd Grade Pageant costumes, attend realty team meeting, get bids to re-tile the kitchen, pick up kids, stop at grocery store, make dinner, give baths, read bedtime stories, participate in conference call with 3rd grade room mothers, complete paperwork for new listing, return emails, do laundry…
Technology that allows us the flexibility to do almost anything, anytime, anywhere has shattered the traditional separation of work life and home life. It makes it possible to both be there for our children and have a business. Such technology has not only made the slice and carve lifestyle possible, it has also made it look easier than it is. Other than learning to thrive without sleep, I don’t have any quick fixes for the situation in which many of us find ourselves. My only point is, I guess, to raise awareness–that “flexibility” is liberating but that it also has a downside, that we must each take on the challenge to create our own work/life boundaries in ways we never had to in the past, and that, despite the fact that it may look to others as if we are either dabbling at business or parenting or both, the reality is that many of us are working two full-time jobs–one of which has always been a 24/7 gig.
Tags: business, businesswomen, doing it all, flexibility, home-based, microbusiness, moms, mothers, self-employed, small business, women, work from home
November 11, 2008 at 7:42 pm
Hi Roberta,
It’s always a treat to read your articles. Today’s was very thought-provoking. What got me thinking was the part about technology allowing flexibility, therefore shattering the traditional separation between home and work life. I must confess, the shattering of that separation excites me.
I would classify myself as a stay-at-home mom that gets to dabble in the family business. I understand that what I have is a luxury. I don’t have to work, but I often help on special and seasonal projects. What I’ve seen in the traditional set-up (Only a norm since the industrial revolution. Before then, children were essential to a family’s economy.) is that the separation between home and work life, or home and the rest of the world, is an artificial barrier that keeps kids from being a part of something bigger than themselves. We isolate them from much of what we do, our work included. While the task of school dictates a good chunk of their day, we don’t tend to do a lot with the other part, unless, of course, it revolves around them– their extra-curricular activities or their homework. Even in our homes, where there is so much work to be done, we (I fully include myself in this) are reluctant to give chores because their day already seems so full. Unfortunately, what I believe this produces are children who believe that the family exists solely for their support. What else do they have to focus on if we don’t show them what else is out there, or who else matters?
I don’t have the answers on what the ideal looks like and I understand that including your child in your work is impractical for most. Nor am I advocating a return to the days of cheap child labor. However, I will offer this as a start: to let our children know what we do, what we struggle with (age-appropriately), what we are passionate about, and how that can affect the world around us. Simultaneously, to encourage their own passions, to help them understand that struggles are part of a normal life, and to help them find ways to contribute to this world, no matter their age. It is highly unrealistic to be able to take our kids to work with us, but maybe technology can help us share a sampling of what our lives include. An email or text message can become a spring-board for conversation about our work- why we need clients, how we treat our employees, how our budget works, how our choices limit and direct us, and why it’s worth it… and why they’re worth it amidst all of this. I think it’s a start.
Looking forward to your next “just a thought”,
Marjorie Hooper